Brownlow "Style" 2007- laugh with me, friends

I found hundreds of pictures out there of these women in their various get-ups, and I do not have the time or the stomach to post about them all- so here are my favourite "Stars on The Red Carpet" (from ninemsn). Stars, indeed!

Bree Hately, Adam Mcphee. Bree has taken the visible g-string to a new conceptual level. Instead of an actual g-string she has instead a dress so low cut in the back she needs a strap to a) cover her plumbers smile at the bottom and b) hold it up so the dress doesnt slip further, and choke her with her own jewelled neckpiece. Or maybe thats why his hand is there- added security against slippage.

Chantelle Raleigh: "I'm so cute, right?! my hair is sooo pretty and if I stand like this you can't even tell that the boob area of my dress doesnt BEGIN to cover anything." Hamish Mackintosh: "I may look a bit dopey, but I'm real clever- I'm at the brownlow with Christina Aguilera haha- beat THAT Chris Judd!"

In what looks like their Year 12 Formal couples picture with Travis Cloke, Bethany Taylor has somehow stolen that dress Scarlett Johansson wore to a premiere somewhere, and combined it with her Cranbourne hairdressers best ever effort- long corkscrew curls with dead straight long fringe.

Kaiti Williams: "Hi! I'm Kaiti! With an a-i! I'm from the country or something but I have this great sparkly dress and I got my sister- she's our regional bodybuilding champion- to teach me how to stand with one leg bent and my chest out and I got one of those Sophie Monk bras from Myer so I have the BEST cleavage! My partner Jason Gram got too excited in the car so my hair is a bit boofy at the back but I think it makes me look kinda mysterious and like, sulky or something? I mean sultry?! Dont you think?!"

I dont know what to say here. The dress seems to be gaping at the top, she has spaghetti straps (and she's in good shape, i know, but spaghetti straps are not a good look), she's gone for a bit of a Erica Baxter Dior wedding dress big frill hem but it just doesnt work in that colour or lace, her face is shiny and her hair, well I dont hate the hair. I do hate James' though. (James and Tania Hird).

Chantelle Delaney: "Sorry? What did you say?......YES! This is that dress Kylie wore years ago to some music awards ceremony- dont you think I fill it out really well?! I've always loved that dress she wore so when Jess here invited me tonight I thought- I'll get my teeth whitened and find mums old silver bag and WEAR IT!"

Jess Sinclair: "hehehe- honey, just stand up straight- just.....ahh, the photographers looking right at us- just lean back a bit, you're ahhh.... busting out there babe...."

"I'm Rebecca Twigley, you probably saw me last year or the year before in that great red dress with the neckline slit to the pubes- yeah? Well I'm still with Chris Judd so I thought this year at the Brownlows I'd go for something classy, something sophisticated, did you see that the papers called me "demure"? I really like the way this fabric changes colour in the light- its something different for the footy fashion, you know? I know i've become something of a role model to the younger girls coming through so I am setting a good stylish example with the bustier top here and the ruffled hem. I made Chris wear a really good suit too, cos so many of the boys look the same- but I think he really stands out tonight, dont you think? All the Victorian clubs are fighting over him, its SO tiring for us. Melbourne will be good though- I really feel at home with the fashion here- the other Brownlow women are all so fabulous. We're such a power couple. We're gonna get married, you know, one day, but in the meantime I have SUCH a Jane Austen cleavage- see, I am LITERARY too, not just a style icon!"

Olivia Carafa gets my vote for Best Dressed. She looks natural, gorgeous, and the colour of the dress really suits her.


There were so many other laughable ones but I couldnt get pics to put up here.... see Anthony Koutafides wife and also Jason Akermanis' partner- both quite giggle-inducing!
These pics and more are from

http://semaphorejunction.blogspot.com/2007/09/brownlow-fashion-2007.html

So many purchases, so little money

Its a Poor Week for me this week, and as is always the case I have no money and SO many things to pay for. So I am trying to distract myself by writing lists, looking at magazine websites instead of the real thing, and trying to remember that I have an American Apparel order on its way- therefore filling the purchase hole i am currently sulking in. They say 6-8 days for shipping, so it should arrive this week! I ordered:

Baby Rib Cross Back Summer Dress
Cotton Spandex Jersey Short Sleeve Tshirt Leotard, and long legwarmers (i'm sure you can picture those yourself)

The dress is gorgeous and hopefully will get loads of wear over summer. But the real star here is the leotard. Maud and I have for a while now been pondering the good old bodysuit- and as we are both obsessed with a) long tops and b) warm tummies this seemed the PERFECT solution. Maximum coverage, and hopefully maximum comfort. No midriff or bumcrack or love handles to be seen here! Plus it has a scoop neck and back which totally suits us both.

And in case you were wondering- American Apparel is opening a Chapel St store soon!! No word on when or exactly where, but my bet is on the shop next to Zomp, and in the next few months. And then we can all shop for bodysuits together. I also desperately covet the silver and gold lame leggings, and numerous other bright sparkly things. The ordering is easy and hopefully quick! Give it a go! And let us know what you pick up! We need feedback particularly if you buy things we like.... eg aforementioned leggings or magenta skater dress!

In other news, its the Brownlow apparently tonight and I am OVER hearing about the "style". For one I hate footy and for 2 I hate football girlfriends style. I also hate g-strings, plunging necklines, year 11 formal hairstyles, j'aton "couture" and the fact that they all claim to be "models". Ralph/Zoo/FHM doesnt count, girls!

I refuse to watch this ridiculous event BUT I will scour the net tomorrow to see the hilarity that is the Red Carpet, and then poke fun at them right here. I will be completely hopeless with names and boyfriends but as they all look virtually identical I dont think we will have any problems.

Style In Melbourne (Just not in Who)

Walking home from work the other night I came across us in shop formation- called Melbourne Style, at 155 Clarendon St Sth Melbourne, it has the best window display:



I couldnt get in as they were closed, but a squiz at their website (see link list) has me wanting one of these:

Have a look they are super cool.....

Also I went to Bobby's Cuts on Tuesday in search of jeans, they only had skinny's in stock for girls at the moment, but Bobby (or store-worker-person) was really helpful and sent me in the direction of some other places- which I really appreciate when shopping- someone who isn't afraid to reccommend somewhere else when they don't have what you want. Their website is:

www.bobbyscuts.com

In other news, if you want a good laugh check out Who mags 2007 Best and Worst Dressed. The list is ridiculous (Sienna Miller number 1??!) and Jodi Gordon at number 8- who on earth is Jodi Gordon? Apparently she is on Home and Away..... she is wearing 3 of the most generic Bec-Hewitt outfits I've ever seen.

Heres the list:

Best Dressed:

1. Sienna Miller
2. Dita Von Teese (no complaints there)
3. Chloe Sevigny (ditto, although they could have swapped 3 for 1)
4. Cameron Diaz (a safe choice)
5. Katherine Heigl (ditto)
6. America Ferrera (shoulda been higher!)
7. Justin Timberlake (the only male on this side, bit random)
8. Jodi Gordon (???)
9. Hayden Panettiere ( no idea who she is, but she looks like a pre-spazmo Britney Spears)
10. Kate Middleton (boring)

Worst:

1. Avril Lavigne (this at least makes sense)
2. Coco (and I do love Ice-T)
3. Britney Spears
4. Kelly Clarkson (blerggh)
5. Jessica Simpson (ditto)
6. Bai Ling (do most people even know her? nutcase definitely though)
7. Joss Stone (hideous)
8. Amy Winehouse (but she has a look! yes she is cracked out most of the time, but she is cool!)
9. Victoria Beckham (I disagree with this one cos personally I love the zebra dress with hot pink bra combination)
10. Pete Doherty (token worst male? I think he has some style, its just hidden under the cold sweat. kate wouldnt go out with him if he was badly dressed, I know that for sure)

What do you think? I hate most of the bests and the "Judging panel" comments are ridiculous! Only 4.50 sequins for some lunch break entertainment though....

FYI

To avoid confusion and so you dont think we are complete wierdo's, the I heart delta post is an msn conversation we had after maudrey seeing the linked article......

I heart delta - what else is new?

Maudrey says:
i really like the new delta song
Zoe says:
i think i have heard that
Zoe says:
sounds just like her, despite the "makeover"?
Maudrey says:
yeah
Maudrey says:
hehe
Zoe says:
i was so disappointed in her makeover
Zoe says:
they talked it up soooo much
Maudrey says:
yeah
Maudrey says:
it was like more eyeliner
Zoe says:
and its basically her with jennifer hawkins pose
Zoe says:
yeah!!
Zoe says:
same hair
Zoe says:
same kinda outfits
Maudrey says:
kinda verging on portmans chic
Maudrey says:
teehee
Zoe says:
yeah hahahahha
Maudrey says:
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22407163-5006009,00.html
Maudrey says:
"how i got sexy"
Maudrey says:
While Team Delta sources designers and outfits to complement her Brigitte Bardot look, they insist the 22-year-old is the mistress of her own makeover.
Maudrey says:
Brigitte Bardot look,
Maudrey says:
heehee
Zoe says:
right so the puppies gone, the streaks are gone but basically thats it?
Maudrey says:
nothing that i can see
Zoe says:
yeah me neither
Zoe says:
i think she had a more interesting makeover with the short hair
Zoe says:
this is just a return to pre-cancer
Zoe says:
although I do like that dress
Maudrey says:
"She's gone from being a 'fairy girl' to a rock chick Kate Moss type."
Maudrey says:
hahhahahahahahhahhaa
Zoe says:
YEAH RIGHT
Maudrey says:
she soooo hasn't
Maudrey says:
hehe
Maudrey says:
i think its funny
Zoe says:
me too
Maudrey says:
its like the emperor's new clothes
Zoe says:
yeah she has better dresses but big deal
Maudrey says:
everyone sees this new thing that isn't actually but agree that it is there just cos everyone else can apparently see it

Scrolldown: A Tribute To Fug

Here is Rachel Zoe a few months ago. Still busting out those 70's dresses (although we are all in favour of the maxi this summer) with dry hair, protruding front-ribs making her look like she has 2 sets of collarbones, pretty much no body fat. That dress is basically hanging free off her shoulders, which I suppose is the point of her style, as a coat-hanger. I dont like the print of the dress, but thats just personal opinion. And I hate the WHITE BAG ewww and NANNA SANDALS, but they seem entirely appropriate when you scroll down.....
This is from like last week, or so. Still more pairs of collarbones, even less in the boobular region, and the hairstyle is ageing her about 20-30 years. She looks like a poor mans David Bowie dressed in a Rachel Zoe costume at a Hollywood Theme Party. And those arms are scary!

6 Things You Might Not Have Known About MMSFW

1. Like in dreams, normal girls CAN be recruited last minute to be models. It happened to a volunteer on Wednesday. She was tall thin and lovely, nervous, and pretty good at it!

2. Models dont necessarily have great bodies. They are small, for sure, but they still can have a big bum, wobbly bits, big boobs, round tummies, short legs, and cellullite. Theres not many that have toned perfect figures, just like the rest of us!

3. Lots of people dont want their showbags, and volunteers eat the leftovers for dinner between shows. Decidedly unglamourous, but if you had no prospect of dinner until 10, you too would drink 2 litres of water and eat 3 chocolate hearts while scrabbling under the seats on your knees.

4. Backstage people/organisers are all nice, with like 2 exceptions. They are also quite stylish, some more than others, but generally quite normal.

5. If you are a dresser, you get to see male models in their underwear.

6. When volunteers get picked to model, some other volunteers spend hours sulking cos THEY didnt get picked, and they actually are a model normally- (that must be why they are volunteering.....ooh nasty!)

From now on my attention will be diverted to New York Fashion Week.....so far nothing has astounded me, but elle.com and style.com have reviews and pics aplenty! they are both in our link list.....

MMSFW Part Two

Trendspotting!

Silver shoes; some great bold colours; wide legged shorts; high waisted a-line shorts; frills; pleats; lots of fabric; printed/plain silk dresses- over opaque tights, leggings or nothing; wedges or big curved Prada-esque heels; all-white (dont like this ones chances); long wavy hair or short angular haircuts; scarves for men (patterned ones not knitted ones, worn very big and loose bandanna style); high top sneakers of all colours over skinny jeans; bike shorts under summer dresses; disco tights- sequins, sparkles, glitter; pink jeans for men; jumpsuited hoodies; loose, draped, oversized cardigans and tops with hoods for men and women; silver in general; high heels, the more unique the better; 60's stewardess scarves for girls; small, real fur scarves (not the right word....stoles? neck ties? small things done up around your neck, anyway); loads of black eyeliner and...

NO- big skank cleavage; midriff; or buttcrack at all.

From last night: Christine and Jayson Brunsdon. JB did a range of silk evening/cocktail gowns over white singlets and even jeans sometimes, with black cons. It looked great! Nevenka had some nice maxi dresses, but hideous shoes. Anna Thomas had some Chanel-inspired shorts, blazers and stripy stuff, fairly run-of-the-mill. Husk had some dramatic shoulders, and very cool dark silver silk dresses.

This is from Wednesdays show- silk pleated dress on a sassy model with great hair.

Fashion Week So Far

Ok. I have just spent 20 minutes (yes its a long time, but I'm uploading photos onto facebook so my mac is running a bit slow) writing a post to get you to spot the difference between GPO Spring Glamour Shopping Affair on Monday night and backstage at the Town Hall yesteday preparing for the shows last night, but then I realised it was too easy. It was good, too, shame really.

Instead I am going to write about my Monday Night/Tuesday Day, and you can comment on the differences yourselves.

The GPO thing was not exactly what I was expecting. I'd had a less than perfect day leading up to it so I wasn't really in the mood but a good dinner set me right, and then we arrived. It was packed full of people, like so full you could hardly move, and not all of the shops were open, like Belinda, which I really wanted to go into, the people in charge were looking important and down their noses, while not having the outfits on to pull that off (in my opinion) at a fashion week gig, while the guests, sorry "VIPS" looked kinda scared/intimidated, bored, and like they had worn something "nice". Which is all fine, people can wear whatever they like, etc etc, but I wanted MORE. My first fashion week function and I expected to be blown away by the sheer amount of people I wanted to photograph to put up here on the blog, for you all to see. Instead, there was not that many, and only one I can remember 2 days later. Did anyone else go? What did you think? The hair models looked like friends of the organisers with fake tans. I didn't see the normal models although maudrey reported they looked "pretty".


At any rate, this was not what I was expecting of fashion week. I moped on the way home. Then I got up the next day, dressed in black, and went to the Town Hall to pack showbags.

What a difference! The first person I met was wearing vintage Pierre Cardin, the second was wearing a white frilly shirt, a cream short sleeved kinda bondage-y jacket,and black cons. Jan Logan walked past me and smiled. Models arrived, looking happy and COOOOOOOOL. Like relaxed, comfy, super-gorgeous layered cool. Everyone was nice. EVERYONE. The other volunteers were fun. We worked way hard, and our reward was getting to put bags on seats as the male models did their run-throughs on the catwalk. And the odd Frankie magazine that was left over. If you are going to any shows, you can look forward to some Kevin Murphy hair stuff, some Napoleon primer, some other skin stuff, and a bucketload of pamphlets. (If you are front row you get stockings, too).

Its basically exactly what you hope fashion shows/weeks are all about. Racks of clothes, gorgeous people, loads of fun and hard work. I am now trying to get tickets to whatevers left....

I'm back volunteering this afternoon/night, and I might go to the afterparty. Which is at the GPO. I dont know, maybe it will be different this time?! The bars are gorgeous. So is the building, I guess. I'll just take my friends and ignore all the snobs!

Shiny Women and Farmy Men

I'm sure you've seen this around.... its an Issey Miyake bustier currently on show at NGV, in their "Super Bodies" exhibition, a small but fierce fashion exhibition in the Myer Gallery.
I love this. I also love most of the other outfits they have there, although they are VERY suit-y, which gets a bit....meh. However I picked up a quote from Thierry Mugler (whose suits make up about 80% of the exhibit):

"..(The Mugler)... Woman is a conqueror, who controls her look and her life. She is free, self-confident and she's having fun!"

I think that quote is perfect. I am becoming increasingly more feminist and I wish women everywhere could or would be free, self-confident, in control of herself and having fun! And to think its a quote from 20-odd years ago. You should see this exhibition- its tres cool. Heres the other quote I liked, from the website http://www.ngv.vic.gov.au/superbodies/

"She’s a fighter who likes seducing and arousing, a dynamic that never causes her to lose sight of her goal. Clothes for her are at once the armour protecting her integrity and the challenge which forces her to surpass herself. She looks like a superwoman: leather, furs, cottons, shiny fabrics, skin tight dress, and trousers – all obligatory. Her colours: contrasting, dazzling, bright, violent."

Elle, 1985

Around Melbourne recently I have noticed this intriguing trend among businessmen (so far no women). Suit, in any and every form, covered up in the rain by a drizabone. Not a trendy raincoat, or a "citified" drizabone, but a real, oily, muddy-looking, aged, 3/4 or full length Drizabone. I've worn a lot of drizabones in my day being a pony clubber from way back, but I have never seen one in Melbourne before, least of all on a polished man in peak hour PT travel!

Its a good look. They look like established farmers from ginormous stations in the middle of nowhere who have buckets of money and wear Ralph Lauren around the farm cos its so well made, and then pop on their thousands-of-dollars suits to go into the city to see their accountant, when they realise- its raining, better cover up. Ahh! My drizabone. Perfect.